Who Is Amy?

The standard answer to that question changes often, but usually includes buzzwords like wife, mother, teacher, professor, writer, dreamer, thinker, and doer. I don’t know that I can accurately claim all of that, though…

 

The problem with buzzwords

See, the thing is, not all of those things are 100% accurate. Yes, I’m a wife and mother. But do I want to define myself that way? I mean, it’s a huge part of my life, but is it all I am? Of course not! But that’s where those other things come in. Teacher and professor? Yes, both true, but they share the same issue as “wife and mother”—is that all I am? Most days, it seems like those first four are where it begins and where it ends. But I know I’m more than that…

I say I’m a writer, but honestly, I have days I wonder if I can claim that. I rarely get the time to write, and when I do, I begin projects over and over again, but rarely finish them. Or, I write things that, though I am proud of the skill displayed, have little value to anyone outside a small fanbase for a TV show. I mean, I write really good fanfic, but it still seems like something I should sort of whisper in polite company, if you know what I mean. It’s smut, sure, but if I could just come up with some original characters and expand my miniscule plot points, smut sells. Allegedly. No one’s paying me for my writing.

Dreamer? Well, I guess that can have many definitions with many levels. I dream about what I want to be when I grow up (never mind that I’m already 44 years old). I dream about what life would be like if I didn’t have to work for a living. I dream about what it would be like to be thinner, healthier, happier, hornier, richer, prettier—you name it, it’s in there. But productive dreams? Dreams I actually do something about? Yeah, I’m a little short on those.

Thinker? Truthfully, I wonder if my brain actually works properly about half the time now.

Doer? That one may actually be laughable. Truth be told, I’m kind of a lazy bitch. I mean… I know everyone has their lazy days, but me? They’re about 90% of the days. Given my druthers, I’d lie about on the couch or the bed basically all day doing nothing of any value to anyone, including myself. I feel rather useless most of the time, which does nothing to help this overwhelming exhaustion that I’ve been feeling for weeks (if not months) now.

So, yeah. I say I’m things. But am I things? I don’t know… maybe that’s why I’m here.

 

“Amy is driven, organized, flexible, charismatic, encouraging, selective, bold, funny, intelligent, dependable, trustworthy, loyal, and humble.”

— Krystal Logan

 

What I Hope To Do Here

  • Catharsis – Part of the point is to get all the crap out of my head and onto the “page.”

  • Commiseration – Maybe someone else, somewhere, will read this rambling and find solace. Or, maybe they’ll find me amusing. IDK, just hope they find me

  • Capture– This be where I can say what’s going on in my head as I force myself down certain paths or experience the unexpected.

  • Chronicle – These pages can serve as a record of my trials & tribulations for posterity.

“Amy is passionate, caring, funny, dedicated, considerate, dependable, unique, hardworking, intelligent, and loyal. The list could go on and on!!”

— Ashley Black