Be Easy On Yourself
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
‘Cause nobody’s been easy on you!
Why, oh why, are you making it, are you making it so hard?
Be easy on yourself
Be easy on yourself
Be easy on yourself
’Cause nobody’s been easy on you!
My coach this week asked me to focus on self-compassion. She pointed out how positive thoughts and affirmations could help manage stress and help in daily interactions and habits. She suggested putting post-its around where I could see them or listening to some affirmations through YouTube.
This immediately reminded me of the song “Easy on You” by The Interrupters (some lyrics above). Everyone else in the world is wrapped up in their own selves and their own issues, so you have to start the gentle loving kindness with yourself before you can truly extend it out into the world.
Now, that said, I admit that I didn’t fully complete that homework assignment this week. I do believe in the power of positive thinking, and I am certain that you can “speak things into being,” but I also have to consider my unusual summer circumstances, my surroundings, and my housemates. I also have been busier this week with some new and exciting things—things not related to my weight loss journey, but certainly to my happiness.
You see, I am a big—HUGE—fan of a certain TV show that ended in 2012. I have watched all five seasons of Leverage at least four times, and I have devoured fan-made videos, fan fiction, and any tidbits of news articles or social media posts I could about the show. Much of what I found was old news because I didn’t come to the show until after its initial run. But once I found it… well, all bets were off. I immediately fell in love with the deep character development and the found family and the imperfect people just trying their damnedest to make a difference in an indifferent world. I have even written my own fan fiction for the show (which has received rave reviews, actually).
One person (https://neighbours-kid.tumblr.com) explained the importance and significance of this show better than I could. These screenshots show those posts (click each one to see it full-size in a new tab).
So, what does all this matter? Well, that’s what’s made me so happy this week….
Leverage is back!
There is a new series called Leverage: Redemption that began this week! It is written by the same people, maintains four of the five original central characters and adds two new ones (both phenomenal, I might add). It is incredible how much it feels like coming home, like putting on your favorite old blanket and wrapping up with some hot cocoa and a good book next to a roaring fire. There are callbacks and chimes to things from the prior show, but it still feels completely fresh and new. They released eight episodes now, and will release eight more in “the fall.” A nebulous date, to be sure, but still hope for what’s to come.
So, anyway, that has been my week: maintaining my online classes, watching Leverage: Redemption, and trying to be easy on myself. I have found it easier and easier to “deny” myself the junk or even just overeating. It is easier to look at how far I’ve come and realize that, though I have VERY far to go, I can do it.
Another thing that happened this week is that my doctor upped my prescription, doubling my dosage. I now take the same in the morning and in the evening. I don’t know how much of my success thus far can be attributed to meds, how much can be attributed to positive self-talk, how much can be attributed to mindfulness, etc. All I know for sure is that it is working. That’s all that matters in the end, right?
I’m still losing weight. I would love if it were faster, more lost per week, but I know that’s not realistic, and probably not healthy. I was hoping to go back to school with enough of a visible change that people were surprised. I still have another month to go before that time comes, but I doubt it will make a hugely visible difference. I’m also both excited and nervous about the prospect of going back to work and keeping this up amidst that stress and schedule change. That said, however, if this summer has taught me anything, it’s that I can and will find ways to manage. I will get through it. I have support and a plan and a goal, and I can do it.