On Giving
February 23, 2022
With everything going on in the world today, there are more and more people facing tough times and finding themselves in situations they never thought they would be in. For those of us who are fortunate enough to have made it through largely unscathed, shouldn’t we make it a priority to help those who didn’t?
Giving is something we all should do more of.
For those of us who were raised in a Judeo-Christian background, it is one of the tenets of our faith—even if the other rites and rituals are long since abandoned. We are told to be generous, to give of our time and our gifts to those less fortunate than ourselves. This is something that starts in early childhood and carries on throughout life.
However, the messages are mixed. We are also taught to look out for number one, and to protect our own selves and our own hearts and our own interests at all costs.
So, which is it? How can I be generous toward others, but also be selfish and self-preserving? Well, like everything else, there is a balance to be had. The problem is finding that balance.
Living Examples
My mother is a strong Southern Baptist lady. She reads her Bible daily, studies her daily devotionals, and prays on the things that need praying on. She turns to God to answer her worries and cares, and she trusts that He will guide her and keep her in her hour of need, as well as lift her up in her times of joy. She has had a good life, and though I’m sure she has experienced hurt and pain that I will never know about, for the most part, her world has seemed fairly stable and secure. She and Dad had good, consistent jobs and income all my life. It was never enough to be frivolous, and we had to carefully budget for larger expenses, but we did okay.
My dad was a bit less God-focused, or rather, more accurately, less Church-focused. I believe he loved the Lord and believed in Him as Savior, but he only went to church on special occasions, choosing instead to stay home and enjoy the quiet, communing with God on his own terms in his own way.
Both of them taught me generosity. They were very giving of themselves in their time and their efforts. They would help neighbors out with moving, or with cooking and cleaning after an illness or injury. They would give people rides or a place to stay. They would lend a helping hand and a listening ear, and they were always there for their friends and family, no matter what, even when it was almost a burden to them to do so.
However, when confronted with a stranger in need, my dad would lock the doors or hurry by as if he didn’t see or hear. My mom would clutch her purse a little tighter. “I can’t give him money,” she would say, “what if he just goes to buy alcohol with it?” She said the word “alcohol” as if the item in question were instead a nuclear weapon the man would use to instigate World War III on a global level. This side of their generous natures also transferred to me, and when I became an adult, out on my own, I was always very giving to those in my inner circle, but incredibly guarded against those outside of it.
A New Perspective
Fast forward several years to my own adulthood. I was out with a friend, and we had stopped to get gas, when we were approached by an obviously drunk homeless man asking for money. I had my usual reaction of politely declining, claiming I had no cash on me, and warily watching the man for any signs of trouble. However, my friend, quickly reached for his wallet, opened it, and gave the man three or four dollars. I was shocked. Not only did this go against what I had known as the principles of giving, but I also knew him to be very tight on funds at that time.
Once the man had meandered toward the gas station, presumably to buy more beer, I asked him why he’d given the man money. “He’s probably just gonna buy more booze with it,” I said, “and you’re nearly broke. Why would you do that?”
He seemed confused by my questions. “So what? That’s not on me.” At my incredulity, he continued. I’ll never forget what he told me. It struck a nerve, and it made an impression.
“We are called to give; it’s not up to us what they do with it after that.”
Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. They made perfect sense. I had grown away from my Southern Baptist upbringing a bit at that point, but I recalled that nowhere in my Biblical studies had Christ asked us to give except when they’re buying things you think are inappropriate with the money. How often, when we give to organizations—yes, even our churches—do we even really know where all of that money goes anyway? And what about purchases we make? The money we spend where we buy things surely gets distributed in all kinds of potentially unsavory ways!
My friend went on to explain that God has not called on us to give so discriminately, but rather, to give as we are able. If it will make our own family destitute, then no, we are not supposed to give. If we are able, we are to give what we can when we can. What that person does with the grace we’ve provided is between them and God, just as us giving that grace is between us and God.
The Aftermath
Now, when I give, I don’t care where it goes. Does that mean I give every single time I see someone begging? No! Of course not! But I do when I can. But I find other ways to give, also. If I have leftovers from a meal, and someone asks for money, I offer the leftovers sitting in my car on the way home. If my friends need help with resumés or formatting Excel spreadsheets or debugging Blackboard classes or ferrying children to and fro or dog-sitting or needing a shoulder to cry on, I’m there. If students have a cause, and I can afford to support it, I will do so every time. And if some “bum” on the corner is asking me for change, and I have some cash on me, I will give it up if I can afford to do so, which, thankfully, is becoming more and more often.
And Now, The Obligatory Update….
After all, today is Weigh-In Wednesday. I’m still doing well in my weight care journey. I have worked with my FOUND doctor to adjust my meds, and I’ve been returning to my more mindful eating habits. My Conqueror Challenge has helped me to find a new perspective on things like distant parking spaces or even having to go out to run errands at all. I’m still on that downward trend, slowly, steadily, and I intend to do everything I can to keep it that way!